Bondage & Restraint
Safe practices, essential techniques, and critical knowledge for consensual restraint play. Safety isn't optional—it's the foundation.
Safety First: Non-Negotiable Principles
Before You Begin
Bondage carries real physical risks including nerve damage, circulation issues, positional asphyxia, and falls. These risks cannot be eliminated, only managed. Education is essential, not optional.
The Cardinal Rules
Never Leave Someone Bound Alone
Not for "just a minute," not to answer the door, not for any reason. Emergencies can happen in seconds.
Always Have Safety Shears Within Reach
EMT shears (not scissors) that can cut through rope quickly. Know where they are and be able to reach them instantly.
Check Circulation Constantly
Every few minutes, check fingers, toes, and skin color. Tingling or numbness means adjust immediately—don't wait.
Never Bind the Neck
Ropes, cuffs, or anything restrictive around the neck is life-threatening. This is a hard limit with no exceptions.
Communication Must Always Be Possible
If using gags, have non-verbal signals established. Dropping an object or specific hand squeezes can replace words.
Essential Equipment
- EMT shears: Can cut through most rope and leather quickly
- Rope hook/cutter: Backup for rope specifically
- First aid kit: For minor abrasions or rope burns
- Phone accessible: In case emergency services are needed
- Water: For hydration during longer scenes
- Blankets: Body temperature can drop, especially in restraints
Anatomy You Need to Know
Understanding basic anatomy isn't optional for bondage—it's essential for preventing serious injury. These are the areas that require the most caution.
High-Risk Zones (Avoid)
The Neck
Contains the carotid arteries, jugular veins, trachea, and vagus nerve. Pressure here can cause unconsciousness in seconds or death. Never put anything restrictive around the neck.
Front of Elbow
The brachial artery and major nerves run close to the surface here. Never tie directly across the inner elbow crease.
Behind the Knee
The popliteal artery and nerves are vulnerable here. Avoid rope or tight binding directly behind the knee.
Inner Wrist
Radial and ulnar arteries and nerves pass through here. Cuffs and rope should never be so tight they compress this area.
Armpit Area
The brachial plexus—major nerve bundle to the arm—runs through here. Compression can cause temporary or permanent arm dysfunction.
Safer Zones (Use With Care)
Upper Chest (Above Breasts)
Relatively safe for rope work, but avoid pressure on the clavicle (collarbone) and never restrict breathing.
Mid-Forearm
The middle of the forearm, away from wrist and elbow, is generally safer for cuffs and bindings.
Mid-Thigh
The middle of the thigh has more padding and fewer surface nerves than other leg areas.
Upper Back
Generally safe, but be aware of shoulder positioning and don't cause strain on the rotator cuff.
Individual Variation
Anatomy varies between individuals. What's safe for one person may not be for another. Pre-existing conditions, injuries, or medications can all affect risk. Always communicate about medical history.
Types of Restraint
Different restraint methods have different risk profiles and require different skills. Start with simpler, lower-risk options before progressing.
By Risk Level
Soft Restraints & Cuffs
Padded cuffs, silk scarves, or purpose-made restraint sets. Easier to remove quickly and less likely to cause nerve compression.
- Good for beginners
- Quick release mechanisms available
- Less technical skill required
- Still check circulation regularly
Rope Bondage (Floor Work)
Using rope for restraint with the bound person on a bed, floor, or furniture. Requires knowledge of safe tie techniques.
- Learn proper techniques from experienced practitioners
- Use appropriate rope (not hardware store rope)
- Keep safety shears nearby
- Monitor circulation and position
Rope Suspension
Any bondage where the person's weight is supported by the rope. Significantly higher risk of injury and requires extensive training.
- Not for beginners—requires serious study
- Learn from qualified instructors in person
- Requires specialized equipment and knowledge
- Risk of falls, nerve damage, and suspension trauma
Material Considerations
- Jute/Hemp rope: Traditional for shibari, grips well, but can cause rope burn and requires maintenance
- Cotton rope: Softer on skin, more forgiving for beginners, but can tighten when wet and doesn't grip as well
- Synthetic rope: Easy to clean, but can cause friction burns and may not hold knots as well
- Leather cuffs: Distribute pressure well, but check for allergies and ensure quick-release mechanisms work
- Metal restraints: Unforgiving, can damage wrists if struggled against, ensure keys are accessible
Rope Basics for Beginners
If you're interested in rope bondage, these fundamentals will help you start safely. However, in-person instruction from experienced practitioners is strongly recommended.
Choosing Rope
Diameter
6-8mm is standard for bondage. Thinner rope concentrates pressure (more dangerous), thicker rope is harder to work with.
Length
Most ties use rope between 15-30 feet (5-10m). Have multiple lengths available for different purposes.
Material
Natural fibers (jute, hemp) for traditional work; synthetic or cotton for easier handling and cleaning.
Core Principles
Two Finger Rule
You should always be able to fit two fingers between the rope and skin. This ensures circulation isn't compromised.
Distribute Pressure
Wide bands of rope distribute pressure across more surface area. Multiple wraps are safer than single lines.
Avoid Joints
Never tie directly over joints—wrists, elbows, knees, ankles. Rope should be on the fleshy parts, not bony prominences.
Know Your Release
Before completing any tie, know exactly how you'll release it. Practice quick release until it's automatic.
Beginner-Friendly Techniques
- Single column tie: The foundation—securing rope to one limb or point. Master this before anything else.
- Two-column tie: Connecting two limbs together (wrists, ankles). Built on single column foundation.
- Simple chest harness: Rope around the torso, away from neck and without restricting breathing.
Learn From People, Not Just Videos
Online tutorials can supplement learning, but they can't replace in-person instruction. An experienced teacher can spot dangerous mistakes you can't see yourself. Look for local workshops, munches, or rope groups.
Circulation & Nerve Safety
Understanding and monitoring circulation is perhaps the most critical skill in bondage. Nerve damage can be permanent and may not show symptoms immediately.
Signs of Circulation Problems
Color Changes
Skin turning pale, blue, or mottled indicates reduced blood flow. Compare to unbound limbs for reference.
Temperature Changes
Cold fingers or toes suggest circulation is compromised. Bound extremities should stay warm.
Tingling or Numbness
"Pins and needles" sensation indicates nerve compression. This is an immediate warning sign—adjust or release now.
Weakness or Loss of Function
Difficulty moving fingers or toes indicates serious nerve involvement. Release immediately and monitor for lasting effects.
The Check-In Protocol
- Check every 5-10 minutes, more frequently in the beginning
- Ask your partner how they feel (don't rely only on visual checks)
- Have them squeeze your fingers or wiggle their toes
- Check skin color and temperature
- Insert two fingers under the rope to verify it hasn't tightened
Rope Tightens Over Time
Even if you start with proper tension, rope can tighten as your partner moves or settles into position. What was safe at minute one may be dangerous at minute fifteen. Continuous monitoring is essential.
Nerve Injuries
The most common serious bondage injuries are nerve-related. They can occur even with "loose" ties if pressure is in the wrong place.
- Radial nerve palsy ("Saturday night palsy"): Affects wrist and finger extension. Can result from arm compression.
- Handcuff neuropathy: Damage to nerves in the wrist from tight restraints. Can cause lasting numbness or weakness.
- Brachial plexus injury: From shoulder/arm positioning or pressure in armpit area. Can cause arm weakness or paralysis.
If Nerve Symptoms Persist
If numbness, tingling, weakness, or loss of function continues after release, seek medical attention. Be honest with healthcare providers about what happened—they're there to help, not judge.
Safe Positioning
How someone is positioned while bound is as important as the bondage itself. Poor positioning can cause injury even with perfect tie technique.
Position Considerations
Arms Behind Back
Comfortable for short periods only. Never pull shoulders past their natural range. Watch for shoulder strain and hand circulation.
Safe duration: 10-30 minutes maxArms Above Head
Can cause circulation issues in hands quickly. Never leave weight hanging from arms. Ensure shoulders aren't strained.
Safe duration: 5-15 minutes typicallyKneeling
Hard on knees; use padding. Check leg circulation if ankles or thighs are bound. Don't maintain for extended periods.
Safe duration: Varies with paddingLying Face Down
Watch breathing carefully. Never put weight on someone's back while prone. Ensure they can turn their head.
Monitor breathing constantlyPositional Asphyxia
Some positions can restrict breathing even without anything around the neck. This is a serious and potentially fatal risk.
- Compression of the chest restricts lung expansion
- Head-down positions can cause blood pooling and breathing difficulty
- Being unable to adjust position to breathe is dangerous
- Gags can compound breathing difficulty
Never Restrict Breathing
If your partner says they can't breathe or are struggling to breathe, treat it as an emergency. Adjust position or release immediately. Don't assume it's "part of the scene."
About Suspension
Suspension bondage—where some or all of a person's weight is supported by the rope—is significantly more dangerous than floor work and requires specialized training.
Suspension Is Not for Beginners
There is no safe way to learn suspension from written materials or videos alone. It requires extensive hands-on training with experienced riggers, understanding of engineering principles, and specialized equipment.
Why Suspension Is Different
- Body weight creates much more pressure on nerves and circulation
- Falls can cause serious injury or death
- Suspension trauma (body's stress response) can occur even in "safe" suspensions
- Equipment failure can be catastrophic
- Time in suspension must be strictly limited (minutes, not hours)
If You Want to Learn Suspension
- Master floor work thoroughly first (months to years of practice)
- Find qualified instructors who teach suspension specifically
- Learn about hard points, load ratings, and rigging equipment
- Start with partial suspension (some weight on ground) before full
- Never rush the learning process
Emergency Protocols
Having emergency protocols established before you begin is essential. In an emergency, you won't have time to think through what to do.
Emergency Release
Cut rope/release restraints immediately (this is why shears must be within reach)
Support their body to prevent falls during release
Move them to a safe, comfortable position
Assess: Are they breathing? Conscious? In pain?
Call emergency services if there's any concern about serious injury
When to Stop a Scene
- Safe word is used
- Partner becomes unresponsive or seems disconnected
- Signs of circulation problems that don't resolve with adjustment
- Breathing difficulty
- Sudden pain (especially in joints or chest)
- Partner asks to stop for any reason
- Something feels "off" even if you can't identify why
After an Emergency
- Stay with your partner—don't leave them alone
- Monitor for delayed symptoms (some nerve injuries aren't immediately apparent)
- Seek medical attention if there's any doubt
- Be honest with medical providers about what happened
- Debrief together when you're both stable
- Don't assign blame—focus on learning and care